When Should I fart and When I should not

I want to fart

When you should not fart:

1> In front of your Girl friend who is less than 2 months old.
2> In front of your boss who is taking your interview.
3> In front of your gym trainer
4> In a bar when the girl has not said yes yet.
5> During sex. It shows you are not that into it.
6> In disco, it attracts desperate women.
7> In front of your wife whom you has just pissed off by saying no for tomorrow’s dinner
8> In front of your old mother in law.
9> In front of a Japanese gay.
10> When you are alone and in front of a mirror – it shows you are lonely


When you should fart:
1> In front of your father in law
2> Female clients who have already liked your work
3> In front of your colleagues earns significantly less than you
4> In your tuition class – to show you are not linking it
5> In front of your father – to show I don’t care
6> In front of tourist guide and say that is the way you say “thank you” in your country
7> After having a bad sex ---- to show it was like this.
8> After having a great sex --- to show you are relaxed
9> In front of a 4-5 years old kid --- it’s funny
10> In front of a prostitute --- it shows you are charging too much.