Wednesday, August 11, 2010

What you want to do in next 5 years


What do you want to do in next 5 years

I was watching that famous series that day. How I met your mother. Finished the whole 5th season in one night. One word brilliant. Laughed like anything. One theory I really liked there. If I ask you to write the top 10 things, you want to do in the next 5 years.

1> I want to have a group of people whom I will call my friends and will want to grow old with them.


2> One loving girl of my life but of course not my wife.



3> A good job ( outside of India) where I will get self satisfaction.no depression.


4> A healthy body, no major disease.


5> A good house, old fashion and lots of wooden furniture, A good music system with lots of jazz CDs (All albums of Katey Melua) , a small library of books, a big Screen and a wonderful projector.


6> Minimum 10 Documentaries and 3 Bengali books.


7> One Published paper on Analytics (work related).


8> Travel experience covering at least 40% of US ( or any continent except Asia).


9> 2 cars for my parents and 4 houses in Siliguri.


10> An enthusiastic mind to live more. Eager to read and fuck more.



What are the things you have in your plate? Plan it. Believe me it will be helpful.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

STRESS TEST In Professional market


STRESS TEST In Professional market

Stress test for your friends. Here is a very easy way to check how stressed your friends are. I have done this test on chatting messenger and I have selected my candidates are across the ages and different counties of ASIA. You can also replicate on your gang.

Me: Are you free for 2 mins ?

Friend: Yes, tell me.
Me: Nothing to do with work.

Friend: yes no prob. For you I have 1000 minutes
Me: Are you stressed?

Friend: too stressed / nop/not that much…..
Me: what is the difference between us and prostitutes ?? Now here are the answers and the Stress meter result

Case 1 Candidate: prostitutes can get weekend off, they get paid instantly and also get tips and they only take 1 lund at a time.
ME: you r stressed and meter shows 76%

Candidate: hahahahahaha

Me : you should sleep minimum 6 hrs


Case2 Candidate: they enjoy their work?
Me : you are not stressed , only 9%


case3 Candidate: Hmm, i can’t see any difference, seriously
ME: you are 96% stressed .Action need to be taken immediately

Candidate: hahahaha

Me: just take a serious strong and deep SEX immediately
Candidate: with whom?

case4
Candidate: haan bhai ( yes bro) What happened suddenly? I hardly see any difference by the way
ME: You are deeply stressed. 87%, solution: go for a holiday forest with family Candidate: i guess pros can get f@#$d by one single person at once...... whereas many people can F#$% us at once

case5
Candidate: only the medium - we sell our minds, they modies bodies and coz humans are unfair we have respect they don’t ME: shit you r deeply stressed ... 98%. Just go for a holiday with your family.... In a beach resort preferred

case6
Candidate: they get paid daily and at different prices. . we get paid monthly and a fixed salary.
ME:You are only 11% stressed Having a really nice and good life
Candidate: ha ha ha......

ME: best time to get married if age > 29
Candidate: what a way to measure it Yes I am I got a new girl. Thinking to propose
her .then my parents will talk to her parents. I will Goa for honeymoon.

And likely to finalize by the end of this month
he he he......

Case7
Candidate: well... we don't have to take off our clothes...
ME: You are not stressed at all ... only 9% …
Having a decent life ... enjoy
Candidate: haha... Where did that come from?


Case8
Candidate: easy …
When we fuck, we don't get any money
ME: You are not stressed at all Only 7%
Candidate: what?
having a decent life .. enjoy !!!!
Candidate : hahahahaa

Case9
Candidate :they fuck for money.. we get fucked for free..
they know the objective we dont
ME: you are highly stressed ....88%
Take daily beers and massage
Candidate: I drink beer everyday boss

Case10
Candidate: prostitutes get stressed physically first, while we mentally
Me: you are in a normal stress 27%
nothing to worry about ... enjoy
Candidate: HA HA HA WAS IT AN QUIZ ?

Case11
Candidate : they are paid?

me: you are in a normal stress 37% nothing to worry bt about
Candidate: hmmm


Case12
Candidate: ahh ahhh ahhh
? What happen to u ?
ME: what is the difference between us and prostitutes?
Candidate: i think u r stressed?

ME: what is the difference between us and prostitutes?

Candidate: Prostitutes will always offer themselves to others to enjoy

ME you not stressed at all 0%
best time to get married enjoy

Case13
Candidate : they work only in the night and we anytime
ME: but u r stressed.... and your stress is increasing ... but presently 29% ... just plan for a 2 days holiday.... beach preferred