Joke Joke Joke Joke

You better think twice if it happens that your leader is a lawyer...

One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside, eating grass.Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.He asked one man 'Why are you eating grass?''We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied 'We have to eat grass.''Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you', the lawyer said.
'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree'.'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with us also.'The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!''Bring them all, as well, 'the lawyer answered.They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, 'Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for takingall of us with you.
'The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!'

Can you please tell me what is this Cartoon about ??

Joke 2 :


John was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, (100 leg bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house.He took the box home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink. So he asked the centipede in the box; “Would you like to go to Frank’s place with me and have a beer?”
Silence; there was no answer from his new Pet.This bothered him a bit, waited a few minutes and then asked him again; “How about going to the bar and having a beer with me?” Again, there was no answer, nothing but silence came from his new friend and pet.
So, he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time.. This time, putting his face up against the centipede’s house and shouted; “Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank’s place and have a beer with me?”
A little voice came out of the box:
“I heard you the first time! I’m putting my fucking shoes on!”


Joke 3

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, ' This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door? ' The boss told her he knew he ' d closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant 's question about his 'garage door.'He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, ' When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there? ' She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires…’

Joke 4 :

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?

GIRL: Well, he kissed me.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?( The psychiatrist kissed the girl )

GIRL: ......Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?( The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top )

GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?( The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes )

GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?( The psychiatrist had sex with the girl )

GIRL: .Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.

PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!!





Joke 5 :

VIJAYAKANTH'S Dialogues in English

1) U can study and get any certificates. But u cannot get ur death certificate

2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze u ll say HUTCH

3 ) U can become an engineer if u study in engineering college. U cannot become a president if u studies in Presidency College

4 ) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop .... u cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop

5) A mechanical engineer can become a mechanic but a software engineer cannot bcom a software

6 ) U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world in world cup

7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard..


Joke 6:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Joke 7 :

Some XYZ University has done a resource on beers and here is the report

"Beer contains Female Hormones"

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :

1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional.

6) Couldn't drive.

7) Failed to think rationally.

8) Had to sit down while urinating.



Joke 8 :

Marwadi at his best

Marwadi: Kela Kaisa Diya?

S.K: 1 Rs.

Marwadi: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?

S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.

Marwadi:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de


Marwadi on his death time.

My wife, where r u ?

Wife:Yes, I'm here

My sons daughters ru all here?

Yes, Papa

Marwadi:To phir barabar wale kamre

ka pankha Q chal raha hay ???


Marwadi 14th floor se neche gira

Girte waqt usne

apni ghar ki khirki me

apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha

to chilla k bola

MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!


Marwadi ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.

Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.

Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,

Marwadi ne phir khoon dia.

Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye, Marwadi:Ghusse se poocha :

mercedez kion nahi di?

Sheikh:Munna. !! Ab hamarey ander bhi Marwadi ka khoon daud raha hay


Marwadi called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai,

kya charges hongay?

NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.

Marwadi: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye".

Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!

Marwadi: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho....... ........... ..

Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale .


Marwadi ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?

Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.

Marwadi ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:

Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.


Marwadi ko bhoot charh gaya ,

3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola, Ojha sahab mujhe

bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga


Titanic K Sath Marwadi Bhi Doob Raha Tha Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha

Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?

Marwadi: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda



















Joke 9

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes", he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM

OF WHICH, is four."

Joke 10 :

Why would you Fight these Armies?

Surrender happily!



But it is also TRUE

Somali Islamists whip women for wearing bras

Somalia's hardline Muslim extremists have been ordering women to shake their breasts at gunpoint to see if they are wearing un-Islamic bras. According to Daily Mail, the women are publicly whipped for wearing undergarments, as it is deceptive and violate Islam. The insurgent group Al Shabaab has sent gunmen into the streets of Mogadishu to identify any women who appear to have a firm bust, said the residents. The women are then inspected to see if the firmness is natural or the result of wearing a bra, reports Courier Mail. Al Shabaab, which seeks to impose a strict interpretation of Sharia law over all Somalia, ask women to remove the bra and shake their breasts. They are also whipping men caught without a beard. The group has also banned movies, musical ringtones, dancing at wedding ceremonies and playing or watching soccer.

Joke 11 :


See, how people write leave Applications.It's murder of English language. But Too Funny. Just Read It.The Leave Applications ;)

Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."

________________________________

This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:

"As I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days...”
________________________________

Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:

"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."

________________________________

From H.A.L. Administration Dept:


"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."

________________________________

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"
________________________________

An incident of a leave letter:

"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."
________________________________

A leave letter to the headmaster:

"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
________________________________

Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
________________________________

Covering note:

"I am enclosed herewith..."

________________________________
Another one:

"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
_______________________________

Actual letter written for application of leave:

"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
________________________________
Letter writing:-

"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
________________________________
A candidate's job application:

"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.

Joke 12

What is common between : Krishna , Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are born on Government Holidays.
************ ********* ********* ********* *********
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.
The shop owner gave him the flag..
Guess what did he ask next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye'.
************ ********* ********* ********* *********
Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in school?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board..

************ ********* ********* ********* *********
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.
************ ********* ********* ********* *********
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford ?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

********** ********* ********* *********

You should feel happy for yourself

Jose: The man with no face

Jose has one of the most extreme facial tumours ever seen in medical history. The 51-year-old, from Portugal, is in danger of being suffocated by it unless he undergoes drastic surgery. Unemployed, he is blind in one eye as a result of the giant weeping growth that has consumed his features; the tumour has taken over his mouth and tongue, ballooning his lips, twisting his gums and breaking his teeth off. The deep, 15cm long growth - which started as a birth mark when he was just 11 - was sparked by abnormalities in his capillaries and veins. It started to get much bigger when he hit 16 and has been expanding ever since. H e recently flew to the UK to discuss the possibility of surgery to remove part of the tumour. But because his mother was a Jehovah's Witness, he refused any surgery because his religion means he can't have blood transfusions. Doctors in London came up with a plan to remove parts of the growth bit by bit - without transfusion.

Huang Chuncai: 44 pound (20kg) tumor on his face

On 2008, a Chinese man named Huang Chuncai underwent surgery to remove a 20kg or 44 pound tumor on his face. The surgery was successful but due to the large size of the tumor, only a part of it was removed at that time. Just a few days ago, Huang Chuncai went into the operating room again to remove another part of that facial tumor. This time, it was a large 4.5kg (9.9lb) chunk of flesh from his face. The tumor was originally 23kg in total. This still leaves 17.5kg of facial tissue from this tumor on his face (1kg was removed in the first surgery and 4.5kg was removed in the second surgery). Huang Chuncai suffers from Neurofibromatosis, a rare genetic disorder that causes growth on nerve tissues.

Huang Liqian: 33 pound (15Kg) tumor on his neck

This man from China finally had a huge tumour removed on 2007, after discovering it 17 years ago. Huang Liqian, 58, first discovered a bizarre growth on the back of his neck in 1990, but chose to ignore it. However, as the years rolled on, it continued to increase in size at a rapid pace, with the growth ballooning to 15kg. Liqian was taken to the First Affiliated Hospital of Chongging University of Medical Services in southwest China's Chongging, where he had the tumour removed.

Chen Zongtao: 154 pound (70kg) tumor on his right leg

Victim Chen Zongtao, 29, lives in a remote Chinese village and hasn't been able to afford medical help. The growth first started on his left foot when he was two years old. But it soon spread across to his right leg and engulfed it. Over the years, it has ballooned in size to weigh more than 70KG or 154 pounds. Doctors at the hospital in Changsha, central China's Hunan province, have been probing the tumor. Zongtao is said to be suffering from neurofibroma - a usually-benign tumour originating in nerves. It is not yet clear if medical teams plan to take action on the growth.

Gao An-ni: tumor in her underlip

Gao An-ni, an 8-year-old girl from the rural countryside in An Yuan county in East China's Jiangxi Province, suffers from a tumor in her underlip. An-ni was born with a tumor in her underlip, and she couldn't receive timely treatment for the poverty. On 2007, her father took her to see doctors at the Hospital affiliated with Gannan Medical College. But when doctors there told him that the operation to cure the tumor and the following cosmetic surgery might cost a lot for the family, the father decided to bring back his daughter to their hometown.

Lai Ti Dao: 10 pound (4.5KG) tumor on her face

Vietnam's Lai Ti Dao suffered from a massive Schwannoma tumor, a benign growth that began with a small lump in her tongue but swelled over the years to a size roughly one-third her body weight. The tumor makes it difficult to eat, talk and even walk because its size throws the girl’s small frame off balance. The growth is now dangerously close to cutting off her airway. On 2008, a team of surgeons at the University of Miami had a marathon 10-hour procedure to cut away the growth, which weighted an estimated 10 pounds.

Phuon: another facial tumor, no luck

Phuong is a 27-year old who has a facial tumor that began to grow at age 7, and quickly took over his entire left face, enveloping his eye and ear, clearly keeping him from living a normal life. He has had three surgeries before, but the tumor grown back each time. Recently, no local doctors or international team visiting the area has offered to take his case, due to the risk involved with the blood loss and the need for careful post-op care. This case would be considered a difficult case and booked for a full day in the OR.

Chantal Sébire: Suffered from esthesioneuroblasto ma, died through euthanasia

A retired French teacher, Chantal Sébire suffered from esthesioneuroblasto ma, a rare form of cancer, and fought for the right to die through euthanasia. In 2000, she was diagnosed with esthesioneuroblasto ma, a rare form of cancer of which only 200 cases have been reported in the past 20 years. Sébire refused any treatment at the time of her diagnosis, not wishing to take the risk of the surgery or medications. On March 19, 2008, she was found dead in her home. An autopsy conducted on March 21, 2008 concluded that she did not die of natural causes. Subsequent blood tests revealed a toxic concentration of the drug Pentobarbital, a barbiturate that is not available in French pharmacies but is used elsewhere in the world for the purpose of physician assisted suicide.

KISS KISS KISS

Kissing Facts

1> It is a matter of record that Canadian porcupines kiss one another on the lips.

2>Matrimonial pollsters' studies prove that a man who kisses his wife good-bye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than does the fellow who doesn't do that thing.

3>In medieval Italy kisses weren't taken, or given, lightly..If a man and a woman were seen embracing in public they could be forced to marry!

4>Our brains have special neurons that help us locate each others lips in the dark. ( It's really true too! I've tried it!)

5>It is estimated that the average person will spend about 20,160 minutes kissing in their lifetime.

6>The first kiss ever shown in a movie was in 1896.The movie, was called The Kiss.

7> Hershey's Kisses got their name because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

8>50% of all people kiss before they turn 14.

9>Kissing helps reduce tooth decay.Kissing increases the mouth's production of saliva, and saliva helps clean the mouth thus aides prevention of tooth decay.

10> The world's longest kiss took place on January 28, 2002. Louisa Almodovar and Rich Langly of New Jersey kissed for a record 30 hours, 59 minutes and 27 seconds on a segment of "Ricki Lake".

11> You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss.

12> The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.

13> Eskimos, Polynesians and Malaysians rub noses instead of kissing.

14> Romans kissed each other on the eyes or the mouth as a greeting.

15> In Russia, the highest sign of recognition was a kiss from the Tsar.

16> Victorian etiquette required a man to kiss the back of a ladies hand.

17> A standard greeting in Europe is a kiss on both cheeks - could be two. . . could be four.

18> African tribes pay homage to their Chief by kissing the ground where he has walked.

19>In Ireland, you will have good luck if you kiss the Blarney Stone.

20>Most kisses in a single movie - 127 in the movie "Don Juan" (1927). Mary Astor and Estelle Taylor got all of those kisses from John Barrymore.

21>Longest movie kiss - 3 minutes and 5 seconds between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in, "You're in the Army Now" (1941).

22> Beware where you kiss! In some places kissing is a crime - it's illegal in Indiana for a mustached man to "habitually kiss human beings", in Hartford, Connecticut it's illegal for a husband to kiss his wife on Sunday, and in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, it's a crime to kiss a stranger.

23> As early as 1500 BC , Sanskrit texts from India depicted toung kisses and
their effects on young maidens

You need help , it does not matter who you are

Unborn Baby Grabs the hand of Surgen

A picture began circulating in November. It should be 'The Picture of the Year,' or perhaps, 'Picture of the Decade.' It won't be. In fact,unless you obtained a copy of the US paper which published it, you probably would never have seen it.

The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by surgeon named Joseph Bruner.

The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother's womb. Little Samuel's mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta . She knew of Dr Bruner's remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt Univ Med Ctr in Nashville , he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the womb.

During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr Bruner completed the surgery on Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon's finger. Dr Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile.

The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity The editors titled the picture, 'Hand of Hope.' The text explaining the picture begins, 'The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life.'

Little Samuel's mother said they 'wept for days' when they saw the picture. She said, 'The photo reminds us pregnancy isn't about disability or an illness, it's about a little person.'Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100 percent successful.

Now see the actual picture, and it is awesome....incredible.....and hey, pass it on. The world needs to see this one!

Newborn sold for Rs 6,000 in Andhra Pradesh, India

Real Slumdog .....

In Khammam a Dalit woman Rajitha sold her one-day-old baby for Rs 6,000.
The 20-year-old had no money to either pay the fee demanded at the government hospital where she gave birth nor was she confident that she can earn and look after her baby boy.
She gave birth to the baby boy last week. It was a c-section and the staff at the Kothagudem government hospital in Andhra Pradesh reportedly demanded that she pay Rs 2,200. So this single mother gave away her one-day-old baby for Rs 6,000 to a childless couple.
"I sold the baby for 6000 rupees because my financial position is really bad," she said.
Action is now being initiated against the doctor and hospital staff.
"Buying and selling a baby is an offence, so we will be booking cases," said Revenue Division Officer Rajaram.
District ICDS officials want the baby to be united with the mother so she can breastfeed him. The mother and child will be shifted to a state home and the mother will then decide if she wants to put the baby up for adoption.

"He became a dad at 12 when the girl next door...."

They are really advanced <:P

Today Sussex Police and the local council's children services said they have investigated the case and pledged continued support for the young parents.

Britain’s youngest known father is Sean Stewart. He became a dad at 12 when the girl next door, 15-year-old Emma Webster, gave birth in Sharnbrook, Bedford, in 1998. They split six months later.

PM Gordon Brown refused to comment directly on the story but said it was important that the Government did all it could to prevent teenage pregnancies.Alfie’s dad Dennis yesterday told how the lad does not really understand the enormity of his situation — but seemed desperate to be a devoted and responsible father.He wanted to be the first to hold Maisie after the hospital birth. He tenderly kisses the baby and gives her a bottle.

And Dennis, 45, said: “He could have shrugged his shoulders and sat at home on his Playstation. But he has been at the hospital every day.”

Maisie was conceived after Chantelle and Alfie — just 12 at the time — had a single night of unprotected sex.They found out about the baby when Chantelle was 12 weeks pregnant.But they kept it a secret until six weeks later when Chantelle’s mum Penny, 38, became suspicious about her weight gain and confronted her.

After that Alfie’s family told only those closest to them for fear he would be “demonised” at school.Chantelle gave birth to Maisie on Monday night after a five-hour labour at Eastbourne Hospital, East Sussex.

Last night she told The Sun: “I’m tired after the birth. I was nervous after going into labour but otherwise I was quite excited.”

Chantelle told how she discovered she was expecting after going to her GP with “really bad” stomach pains. She said: “Me and Alfie went. The doctor asked me whether we had sex. I said yes and he said I should do a pregnancy test. He did the test and said I was pregnant. I started crying and didn’t know what to do.“He said I should tell my mum but I was too scared.“We didn’t think we would need help from our parents. You don’t really think about that when you find out you are pregnant. You just think your parents will kill you.”

But Penny figured out what was going on after buying Chantelle a T-shirt which revealed her swelling tum.



Chantelle admitted she and Alfie — who are both being supported by their parents — would be accused of being grossly irresponsible. She said: “We know we made a mistake but I wouldn’t change it now. We will be good loving parents.

“I have started a church course and I am going to do work experience helping other young mums.“I’ll be a great mum and Alfie will be a great dad.”

Chantelle and Maisie were released from hospital yesterday. They are living with Penny, Chantelle’s jobless dad Steve, 43, and her five brothers in a rented council house in Eastbourne. The family live on benefits. Alfie, who lives on an estate across town with mum Nicola, 43, spends most of his time at the Steadmans’ house.

He is allowed to stay overnight and even has a school uniform there so he can go straight to his classes in the morning.Alfie’s dad, who is separated from Nicola, believes the lad is scared deep down.

He said: “Everyone is telling him things and it’s going round in his head. It hasn’t really dawned on him. He hasn’t got a clue of what the baby means and can’t explain how he feels. All he knows is mum and dad will help.

“When you mention money his eyes look away. And she is reliant on her mum and dad. It’s crazy. They have no idea what lies ahead.”Dennis, who works for a vehicle recovery firm, described Alfie as “a typical 13-year-old boy”.

He said: “He loves computer games, boxing and Manchester United.” Dennis, who has fathered nine kids, told how he was “gobsmacked” when he discovered Alfie was to be a dad, too..

He said: “When I spoke to him he started crying. He said it was the first time he’d had sex, that he didn’t know what he was doing and of the complications that could come.
“I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk. Some may say it’s too late but he needs to understand so there is not another baby.”

Chantelle’s mum said: “I told her it was lovely to have the baby but I wish it was in different circumstances. We have five children already so it’s a big financial responsibility. But we are a family and will pull together and get through.
“She’s my daughter. I love her and she will want for nothing.”

Last night Michaela Aston, of the anti-abortion Christian charity LIFE, said: “We commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world.

“At the same time this is symptomatic of the over-sexualisation of our youngsters and shows the policy of value-free sex education just isn’t working.”

INNOCENT-eyed Alfie Patten spent his first night acting as a 13-year-old dad and declared: “It was easier than I thought.”
The four-footer — who looks no more than eight — said: “I know I’m young, but I plan to be a good dad.”

As he went on the PlayStation with 15-year-old girlfriend Chantelle Steadman, he added: “I think we’ll be good parents. I’ll have to work extra hard at school.”

DOCTOR Carol Cooper, The Sun’s GP, explains the physical changes in lads and when they occur. BOYS can actually get a girl pregnant at the age of six or seven — though it is extremely rare. Puberty starts for most boys at 12. Hormonal changes occur first and then sperm starts to mature — though it is unlikely at this stage that many would be capable of impregnating a girl. The growth spurt, voice changes plus facial hair are secondary to hormonal changes and come later.

Alfie, who is just 4ft tall, added: “When my mum found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react.

“I didn’t know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it.”

Alfie's story, broken exclusively by The Sun today has sparked a huge political storm with Tory leader David Cameron saying: "When I saw these pictures this morning, I just thought how worrying that in Britain today children are having children.

"I hope that somehow these children grow up into responsible parents but the truth is parenthood is just not something they should be thinking about right now."

He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant.The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby.

“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10.”



New & Hot News :
"DNA tests show 'boy dad' not the actual father"

LONDON 30th March 2009 : DNA tests on Alfie Patten, the 13-year-old boy who was alleged to have become a father when he was just 12, show that he is not the baby girl’s actual dad.

The £300 test was conducted on him after half a dozen boys claimed to have slept with schoolgirl pal Chantelle Stedman, 15.

Although Alfie was convinced he was the dad after a single night of unprotected sex with Chantelle, the DNA test proved the 4ft-tall pupil was not the father of her tot Maisie Roxanne.

According to the Mirror, Chantelle had told her half-sister Jodie O’Neill, 17, that her daughter’s father could have been one of the boys she slept with at her parents’ home in East Sussex.

The paper further reveals that the teen girl also said that her mother Penny had ordered her to keep saying that she has been a virgin when she slept with Alfie.

The result will be a blow to Alfie who was “devastated” by the boys’ claims and “adored” Maisie. Chantelle became pregnant aged 14 after she “forgot to take” her contraceptive pill last May.

Meet the Kids That Really Aren't Kids

I want to look older

February 10 2009 22:25 PST Desihits.com

If you look at this picture in front of you, you're probably saying to yourself, 'Awww, cute kids.' Well, the truth is, these kids are much, much older than they appear. That's right, these kids that probably don't look a day over five years old are 16 and 18 years old, respectively. I know. I was fooled too.
Azad Singh and Laxmi Yadav may be young adults now, but the reason why they look like this is because they never went through the process that every young adult goes through in the evolution towards maturity: puberty. While not having to put with acne, voice fluctuation, and menstrual cycles might seem like a cool thing, the side effect is that they don't physically mature. Both kids aren't much taller than 3 feet. That's crazy.
The siblings from Haryana, India are just kids who love cricket and want to do things regular kids do. They go to school, good grades, and have ambitions to go into fields such as engineering in Azad's case. Their condition makes it hard for them to enjoy certain freedoms that they would love to have, such as just being able to walk the streets alone.
Azad and Laxmi have a disorder that prevents their hormones from growing and developing, a condition that became apparent after they were five years old each. The hormones cost about £18 daily, but the family, who lives a modest life financially, cannot afford the potentially life-altering hormones. Their younger sister, Sonam, 12, did not have this disorder and is of normal height. Sometimes Sonam accompanies them outside to protect them from insults from others.
"When I go out, such as to walk to my tutor's house, my mum has to come with me," Azad said in an interview with Britain's The Sun. "People think I'm still a kid and need looking after."
"When we were younger our parents had to change our school because the other kids laughed at us because of our size," Laxmi said.
Last year, the All India Institute of Medical Sciences in Delhi wanted to provide free treatment for the brother and sister, but Azad and Laxmi wound up feeling as if they were exhibits and not human beings and opted to decline the opportunity.
But when the Azad and Laxmi arrived at the hospital, crowds of patients, visitors, and even people from the street went into to the ward to stare at them.
"We could not face all those people," Laxmi said. "It was too frightening for Azad and me. We felt we would rather stay as we were than go through that. We decided we did not want the treatment, as doctors said there was only about a 40 to 50 per cent chance it would work."
It's at least good to see that the disorder isn't affecting their spirits. They seem like good people that just want to be known by who they are rather than how old they look. I definitely wish them all the best. Tell us your thoughts on this story. Are you surprised at how two teens can look so young? Let us know what you think!