Monday, February 21, 2011

Horrible part of my Singaporean Life



         Horrible part of my Singaporean Life

I am not well these days. Got some urinal problems. Talked a lot about it in this blog, so will not bore you guys anymore. Recently I finished a book. I felt the writer in myself. But he was a bad guy and he paid enough for that. My life of course was not that bad. The point of time I got that book was pretty melodramatic and over the 230 pages somewhere I lost myself. Don’t know where exactly. People do mistakes in their life and get punished for that. But sometimes that punishment takes your life. You lose you all the hopes, you get frustrated and think - “That is how it all ends”. Basically you challenge commences after that. Andy Botts felt that from his heart. He is the writer of the book I was talking about. I pathetically correlate myself with the book. The seven months that I have spent in Singapore was a metaphor of Botts’s prison life. To explain the whole story I have to back up a little bit.

The most important question of life was hunting me in the middle of 2010.What I want in my life. Work was killing me from all the angles. As I am a very bad negotiator, my professional and emotional growth were absconding me in my every morning dream. So you can understand my life was fucked.The book started with a story of a bad kid of Hawaii. An adroit car banger and master piece in finding the flows of US Federal Law. He did bad things but all the time managed to get a quick abatement of his legal tickets. That made the Hawaii police really pissed off on him. They were just waiting for a chance to catch him red handedly. Their acrimonious struggle was bound to give some positive result. They caught Andy and this time luck adjured Andy’s life. First time Andy felt the pain of Jail. The situation became really bad. The Police authorities put a huge legal penalty on him. He tried his best to get rid of it but could not find a way. Slowly in the Jail he started becoming spiritual and mentally absconded the life he had in the past. Somewhere he wrote “God if this is the life you can offer to me then take it back. I don’t want a single part of it.”
Actually the jail thing worked for him. It acculturation of the Jail atmosphere redefined his character and showed the correct path. But Life was planning a different game for him there. It was same for me when I took the offer from my Singaporean branch. I got a call from my manager that some important project was from Singapore and I left my place in two days. Leaving behind the unnecessary one year of rent which I had to pay for my place. That only thing that mattered to me is work. It is a stealing game, just the loser is not somebody else its fucking me. Of course I did not feel like that. When I landed there I understood that the work that my manager was planning extract 2 resources work from me. I should have shouted that time but I did not. Also I pulled two other recourses from India without knowing what is going to happen with them. They chickened out badly. No pre-plan had been done by the management and that killed my life. First I was really acrimonious on the system but over the time when I felt that nobody was fucking bothered about anything; my anger changed its direction. I realized it’s all my faults. I should have thought about all these before coming to this new country. Life transformed in a Jail to me. I echoed same Andy’s word “God if this is the life you had for me , then take it back. I don’t even want a single part of it.”As my company gave me only seven days hotel accommodation to find a house in Singapore (which is practically impossible) , I landed up in the red light area. I did not know anything about the places and practically got only one day to find a place. So, mistake was expected.

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