Tuesday, March 1, 2011

In a Lonely Birthday, I waved bye bye to my second decade

In a Lonely Birthday, I waved bye bye to my second decade
I don’t have any other option except staying at my 1 BHK and reading books. One lady called me in morning to wish me happy birthday. We share our happy b’day at the same day. I miss that gang very much. Especially today. I woke up at 7:30 and started murmuring with myself. From last four birthdays I have started I tradition for myself. I give a birthday gift to myself. Till now I have got lots of this kind of self gifts. This b’day I am not buying anything for myself. Because I have already got it.  I am getting a new life in this Birthday. That’s the b’day gift that I am earned this time.
Few days back I went to watch a movie in a very old Tamil cinema hall. They were playing Tamil dubbed English movie. Except me, I saw few other people who came to sleep in an Air condition room. The hall was the shit and also the atmosphere. But for a while I felt nostalgic, just like my home town theaters. Not clear screen, old dirty atmosphere and few frustrated male eyes.
Life has not stopped hitting me badly. Today I went to the EYE doctor for my normal check up. First half went positive but god had something bad for the second part. Doctor told me the nerves of my left eye are little dried. For 20% of the people this is normal but for 80% is it abnormal. So I have to check if my eye nerves are losing their slowly or not. It stopped my heart beat. Am I becoming blind? no not that bad. I got a job in Dubai, I was planning to see a girl this weekend --- Are all lie?? Fuck!!. I can’t tell all this to my parents. Tomorrow after the field test doctor will tell me what has actually happened to me. I am stressed , alone and yes today in my B’day.

No , doubt I need somebody in my life whom I can tell my words . I can share my emotions. But it I hard to cheat a person whom you love most.


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