How to be a professional GUY

Daddy is back with

"How to be a professional person or to show that you are a professional guy".

Here are the points you have to follow to be a professional guy. Everybody in your village will know that they have been blessed with a professional genius.

1> Always drink costly coffees. Also you have to make sure that they are very complicated to explain, like hot cappuccino with little Caramel Macchiato, Americano, White Mocha, Mocha Valencia and just put mild flavor of Espresso.
2> Also give tips in front of your boss.
3> When you meet your friends, start discussion with “How is Hungary? I am trying in Costa Rica. Let’s see how it goes.” Or “How are your numbers going?”
4> Always try to squeeze your company as much as possible. Like “I prefer only first class and only Emirates. Please don’t ask me to rethink about it. By the way I have claimed for my 100 rupees (2 $) taxi fare, I need that money as soon as possible.”
5> Always use bad words (especially in local language), in meetings, in front of ladies and then say sorry. Like “I will cut your balls, oh I am sorry madam.”
6> Always show you are pet loving person does not matter you like humans or not.
7> Always use difficult English words. like “ Lacuna , it’s not my cup of tea, ball in now in your court”.
8> Always carry a Management book with you. It does not matter you are reading it or not and discuss about it with other people like “Abraham Sick has said “before fucking European girls, drink red wine”.
9> Always talk about business and make your attitude like technical things are useless and only business sense can solve anything.
10> Always project yourself as a technically weak person.like " I don't know what the fuck is linux."
11> Always show yourself busy with mobile and market Apple products unnecessarily.
12> Always give vulgar look to girls. Showcase yourself as a big fucker.
13> Always wear ties, does not matter where you are going.
14> Your words will be 32000 feet’s above the common world but your behavior has to be very very down to earth.

Feel free to add any points if I have missed anything. I use this line in every minutes of the meeting.